my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
