Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Panties = found
Randomize
