New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
