I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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