help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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