plz talk dirty to me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
and you fell through a lawn chair
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
