Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
