I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
MIDGETS
????
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
