matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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