I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
