I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
