2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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