He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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