I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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