Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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