I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
