maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
