im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
