just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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