He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
