also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
