It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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