Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can I color on your dick again?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize