omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
