the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
