so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
