"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
