I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
