Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
