It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
