I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
