shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
