Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
