its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
