Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
