so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
