I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
