Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
