What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
