i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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