I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize