whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
