***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
