I wish I only lived at night.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
