I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
