Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize