I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
