worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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