4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
