Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize