im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
