Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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