I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
