Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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