I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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