Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
