eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
