spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
