someone get that fucking seahorse.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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