Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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