ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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