She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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