That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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