I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
