Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
