We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one two three fourrrrnication!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
