hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
