Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
