so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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