On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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