I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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