somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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