I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
